A childhood promise blocking business growth

Imagine you give yourself a strong life-long promise.

You never realise that the vow can destroy your future, your partnership or your family.

The promise you gave to yourself…was done in an earlier period of your life. Or in a life-changing situation. May be in a moment of sadness or happiness. After all it was very very important to you at that time and very moment.

Your promise gives you magic and empowerment to achieve whatever you want.
But it could create an unknown challenge.

Is a onetime made promised meant for eternity?

I know that promises have an expiry date.

Let me tell you a story.

It is 1977, the weather is grey and windy as usual in autumn in this part of the country.
A girl lives with her mother and younger sister in cosy little village. In a dream house, self-build by her parents. Her parents are divorced and her mother struggles to earn enough money for their living.

The moment has come when she and her sister will be picked up by their father for the weekend. Today, she is not looking forward to go there, feeling the heavy load of an assignment given by her mother. Her mother told: ?Ask your father for money to buy winter shoes for you and your sister. The old ones are to small now, you two have grown a lot. I don’t have enough money.?

Packed with their bags off they went for the weekend. Normally, the girl looks forward to enjoy the time with her father, but now loaded with the responsibility of her task she is feeling like the grey unfriendly autumn weather.

During the two days of her stay the girl was consumed by the thought to find the right moment to ask her father for the money. Fantasizing how her mother would react if she would come home without the money.

Are you still with me?

That was on her mind when it turned already lunchtime on the last day of their visit. Helping her father unhappily drying the dishes and knowing it wouldn’t be long before they would get into her father’s green French car to go home again.

She plucked up her courage and asked her father money for the shoes. He answered: ?No, I haven?t got any money. I?m paying alimentation and I haven?t got more.? She drove home, the weekend blown away in sadness and disappointment.
After the answer was delivered to her mother, she had to listen to the anger and frustration of her mother about her ex-husband.

What do you think happened?

The girl felt defeated on all fronts. No result, drawn into the emotions of frustration and rejection of people she loves and no new winter shoes for her sister and herself.

Some days later. The girl pledged to herself:

?I promise myself, that I will never ever ask for money again. It doesn?t matter whatever happens.?

Business challenge

Thirty years later, the girl is running now a business for the last 7 years in coaching WoMen in growing their business. She helps many customers. However, the profit in the business is stagnating. Talking to other business owners to find out the problem and reading about business problems doesn’t help. The obstacle can’t be found.

Until one day the scales drop from her eyes when she holds the book from T. Harv Eker Secrets of the Millionaire Mind in her hands once more. She remembers all of a sudden her childhood promise of never ever asking for money again.

How is that?

Running a business, offering several services, helping customers and not ?really? asking for money. Can you envisage the blockage build up over years and the impact on the business and personal level?

It?s means that the entrepreneur and the business are bleeding over years. ?That is not a business. ?

Expired promises

This story presents us with a valuable lesson. Promises and beliefs from our younger life have an expiring date. They often do not support us anymore when we have grown older.

How to overcome the unsupportive promise?

Are you facing a challenge and do you have difficulties to get over it?

Do from time to time a reality-check on your promises given to yourself and to others. Do the same with your beliefs.

Being conscious about something you told yourself in the past is already the first step.

The second one is to figure out why it was important to you at that time and ask yourself if it is still valid. Is it honestly still helping you? Great, keep it.

If not, continue with step three.

Step three is to note down what you want now in this very moment of your life. Make a new promise to yourself.

Fourth step, bath yourself with gratitude. It is important not to scold yourself for being stupid to stick to it so long. Thank yourself and be grateful to yourself about the old promise and that you kept it so faithfully. Then open up and tell yourself that the old promise is not needed anymore. Let go of it. Instead present your new ?promise or belief? ? read it aloud to yourself. Or if you like to another person.

Fifth step, repeat this for the coming four days. Be gentle and let the change happen.

?Will it be easy? Nope. Worth it? Absolutely!?

?What are your experiences with promises? Please share them with us in your comment.

  • All those promises… In my work and experience they are survival strategies. At a time they were needed, but then they stop filling their purpose of protecting from pain. So I agree wholeheartedly, thank them and then let go. An important thing to realize though is, most of the time you need help to find them. Personal development is not a solosport! 🙂

  • I am reading this with tears in my eyes and goosebumps on my skin. Promises do lose their sell-by date. You make a promise in the now… not in the future. Great insight to embrace. Thank you for sharing this.

  • Most of us have developed limited beliefs from childhood. Most of mine were also about money. I did the inner work I needed to do to let go of the beliefs that kept me from asking for money as well. Sometimes it still rears it’s ugly head and holds me back, but I’ve come a long way.

    Thank you for sharing your story Anja.